RALPH: I ated the purple
berries.
BART: How'd they taste Ralph?
RALPH: Oooo, ahhhhh, they taste like... burning...
RALPH: So, do you... like... stuff?
RALPH: Dear Miss Hoover,
you have Lyme disease. We miss you. Kevin is biting me. Come back soon. Here's a drawing of a spirochete. Love, Ralph.
RALPH: Mrs. Krabapple
and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me.
MISS HOOVER: Now, take
out your red crayons.
RALPH: Miss Hoover?
MISS HOOVER: Yes Ralph?
RALPH:
I don't have a red crayon.
MISS HOOVER: Why not?
RALPH: I ate it.
(sounds familiar
*TJ*)
RALPH: Then the doctor
told me both my eyes were lazy. And that's why it was the best summer ever
RALPH: I beat the smart
kids! I beat the smart kids! (trips) Oooh... I bent my wookie.
RALPH: (to Marge) Your
hair is tall, and pretty!
MARGE: Why thank you Ralph. (she puts her hand on his shoulder)
RALPH:
(Marge puts her hand on Ralph's shoulder) Help! She's touching my special area!
RALPH: Slow down Bart,
my legs don't know how to be as long as yours!
PRINCIPAL SKINNER: And
now with a flute up his nose, Ralph Wiggum.
RALPH: *toot*
CHIEF WIGGUM: That's some
nice flutin' boy.
RALPH: The doctor said
I wouldn't have so many nosebleeds if I kept my finger out of there.
SKINNER: And special
awards go to the two students who obviously had no help from their parents: Lisa Simpson and Ralph Wiggum.
RALPH:
I'm Idaho!
SKINNER: Yes, of course you are.
Hoover's class is reading essays entitled "The Happiest
Day Of My Life".
RALPH: ... and when the doctor said I didn't have worms any more, that was the happiest
day of my life.
MISS HOOVER: Thank you, Ralph, very graphic.
RALPH: (To a wolf) Will
you be my mommy? You're breath smells like dead bunnies...
MISS HOOVER:
Now, take some paste and spread it on the construction paper... Ralph! Are you eating your paste?
RALPH: No Miss
Hoover.
RALPH: Daddy, I'm scared. Too scared
to wet my pants.
FLANDERS: Ralph, you're gonna be
on special teams.
RALPH: I'm special.
RALPH: Goodbye witches... thanks
for not eating me.
CHIEF WIGGUM: Yeah, you hags are all right!
RALPH: When I grow up I wanna be a Principal or a Caterpillar... I love you Principal Skinner!
RALPH: Principal Skinner,
I got carsick in your office.
RALPH: Ms. Hoover, the movie's over.
LISA:
Where's Ms. Hoover?
GIRL: Hey, her car is gone.
RALPH: Maybe she drove to the moon.
RALPH: Miss Hoover, I glued my head to my shoulders.
RALPH: Eww, Daddy, this tastes like Gramma!
RALPH: And I want a bike... and... a monkey... and... a friend for the monkey...
HOSEY THE FIRE SAFETY
BEAR: But you're not going to start any fires, are you little boy?
RALPH: At my house we call them "Uh-Ohs."
RALPH: Miss Hoover?
MISS HOOVER: Yes Ralph what is it?
RALPH: My worm went in my mouth
and I then ate it, can I have another one?
MISS HOOVER: No Ralph there aren't anymore. Just try to sleep while the
other children are learning.
RALPH: Oh boy Sleep! That's where I'm a Viking!
RALPH: I look like cable TV! (After being soaked in fake blood)
RALPH: (After getting
thrown through a window) I'm a brick!
LISA: Hi, fellaaass.
CHUCK: [after she leaves] Love that chewing gum walk.
RALPH: Ve-ry
Wrigley.
Hoover's class is taking a quiz...
RALPH: [whispering] Lisa, what's the answer
to number seven?
LISA: [whispering] Sorry, Ralph. That would defeat the purpose of testing as a means of student
evaluation.
RALPH: [pauses] My cat's name is Mittens.
BART: Everybody! There's a monster on the side of the bus!
JIMBO: Hey! There's no monster.
RALPH:
You're deceptive.
RALPH: I'm a dog! (as he spreads his peacock tail)
RALPH: Oooo, owwww, even my boogers taste spicy!
RALPH: (in a locker w. Milhouse) We're a totem pole!
RALPH: I'm going to live with Underground Grandma!
RALPH: My sash says "Ultra-Man!" Haaaaaaaa-----ya!
(Ralph is about to enter a door labeled "adult section)
BART: Uh uh!! You have to be four inches taller
to go in the adult section!
RALPH: Ppppllllllleeeeeeaaaaaaaassssssseeeeee!
BART: Oh okay... But you have
to stand on your toes.
(Ralph gleefully enters the room)
RALPH: Everybody's hugging!
RALPH: Bushes are nice because they don't have prickers, except when they do, and that one did, owww...
RALPH: (racing fruit on the bus) Go, banana!
Bart: comon ralph lets
play over here
Ralph: no daddy says im not alowed on the deepend of the sand box, because thats
where the lepurcon lives that tells me to burn things.
